A Complete Guide of Indian SECULARISM

Discussion in 'India' started by Ignorant, May 15, 2015.

  1. Ignorant

    Ignorant New Member

    We must've had pain in our ears listening to this word. SECULAR..SECULAR..SECULAR.. So let’s walk through a complete, step by step guide of SECULARISM
    • Stay away from Communal things like वन्दे मातरम and सत्यमेव जयते. To hell with its meaning. All we should care about the language it is written in, Sanskrit. A communal language because it doesn’t belong to Moughal or Persian era or any other peaceful Secular era. Rather Vedic era, full of Communal violences.
    • Stay away from योग. A very infamous and Communal sage, Paatanjali nurtured this art in such a way that only Hindus can benefit from it. योग is of no use for Muslims. Now, Communal Baba Ramdev is promoting this communal art of living..
    • ‪‎Be‬ Careful about your statements. Don’t do the same mistake Mr. Subramaniam Swamy did? You’ll be tagged as communal. Praise and support Muslims invariably. Look how our Great Secular Neta Jee Mulayam Singh reacted on Mumbai rape case of a journalist.“Boys will be boys, they make mistakes… Will you hang them for rape?”
    • ‪Matrimonial‬ Tips: Take a leaf from most secular family of India, Gandhi Family. Marrying within your religion is greatest communal sin. This Sacred advice was given to Pandit Nehru by Lady Edwina Mountbatten herself. Alas, Nehru Jee was too old to marry again. But his daughter married a Parsi. Her son married a Roman Catholic. Son’s daughter married a Christian. Secular you sow, Secular you reap? More mixture, more Secular..
    • ‪Discourage‬ your kids from stone pelting game. If it breaks the window glass of any church, your whole family will be tagged as Communal. Then, only solution will be signing mercy petition of any Secular Social Worker from our Secular neighborhood like Ajmal Kasab.
    • ‪Understand‬ the difference between Communal Money and Secular Money. The donations we’ve been giving to Mandir Trusts for decades is Communal Money. Because it comes from Superstitious Hindu’s Temples. Government has always had difficult time making this money secular by using it in Madarsa and in Haj Subsidy.
    • ‪Wearing‬ Muslim Topi is a must for any Secular state. Look how our Communal PM Modi got condemned when he refused to wear one. Take inspiration from our most Secular Leaders Lalu, Nitish, Mulayam. Since Mamta Didi is lady, she can’t wear Topi. But look how beautifully she compensates it by giving everything to our Secular neighbor Bangladesh’s immigrants. From visa to Roshogulla. Everything.
    • ‪Communism‬ is a secret door to enter Secularland. All you need are Khaadi clothes, tons of books, eyeglasses and a beard(female exempted). Wine-cigar will be icing on the cake. Now speak anything with the word “Secular” in every sentence. Don’t speak Hindi or anything, Only English. Now you are a perfect Secular Elite Class Communist.
    • For further specialization in Secular Communism, we can send you to our study centre- J.N.U
    • ‪Don‬’t support BJP/RSS/VHP. If you do so, you are communal. We don’t care what your ideologies are, just abuse them. And especially Modi. Can’t find a reason? OK, I am giving you one. Gujrat riots. Just remember Gujrat Riots and keep abusing Modi. If you continue doing so, you will be an Ideal Secular.
    This was only a theory class. For practical classes, you have to deposit rupees 101/- as registration fee.
    Oh, Sorry..... 101 is communal digits. Please deposit rupees 786/-
    Guaranteed results or take your complete refund.
    Flat No: 420, Liberal Apartments,
    Secular Nagar, Opposite Communal Nagar,
    Aadarsh Chowk

    by : संवाद The Conversation
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    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2015

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