Ayurveda: Know how your mind works

Discussion in 'Ayurveda Forum' started by Aum, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. Aum

    Aum New Member

    The problem is a very natural one -- of mind moving from one extreme to another.
    First you were thinking that fulfillment was in the other. Now you are thinking that fulfillment is in yourself. Both are wrong attitudes. Fulfillment is somewhere between you and the other. It is neither in you nor in the other. So you have become free of the other -- now become free of yourself also. Otherwise you will carry a loneliness. It is just the opposite extreme to the first.

    One goes on clinging, and that clinging brings misery and frustration. One is fed up with it, so one moves in the opposite direction completely -- to avoid it. Then one tries to remain alone, strictly alone, and then one carries a loneliness. Sooner or later that loneliness will force you to move to the opposite extreme again, because one cannot live alone.

    One cannot live in clinging, and one cannot live in loneliness. But don't be afraid, because there is a way in which you can relate to the other but you don't cling, in which you remain yourself. That's the whole art of love. These are easy alternatives that you have chosen -- and everybody chooses them.

    The way out is to remain alone but available to relations. Be in a relationship but never be clinging -- then for the first time one starts living. Clingingness brings misery, and loneliness brings misery, because if you are not relating, you shrink.

    It is as if you have decided not to breathe because the air is polluted -- but then you will die. The air is polluted but you have to find ways to continue breathing. If you are simply afraid because the air is polluted, you will die. So you have to find ways to breathe pure air, but breathing has to be continued.
    Love is like breathing. If you stop it, something in you starts dying. Your warmth will disappear. You will become like a closed house, and you will become afraid of opening the windows because someone may come in, and the clinging will start.

    So there is no need to cling -- that you have understood. There is no need to cling to the other, there is no need to cling to oneself.

    Now understand the second step also. Breathe well, remain available, but from the very beginning remain alert that relationships are beautiful, but only up to the point where you can go on feeling your aloneness. You remain alone. You relate, but you remain alone. This becomes a rhythm -- relating and aloneness -- inbreathing, outbreathing.

    Every relationship is beautiful if clinging doesn't start. If you don't start clinging, you won't help the other to cling to you. These things go together. So relax, and don't shrink -- remain available. And if somebody knocks at the door, don't hide.

    Drop the old mind. And don't move to the opposite, because in the opposite, the old mind continues. The opposite is the trick of the same mind. If you drop one thing, always remember to drop the opposite with it, otherwise from the back door the same mind enters.

    But I know you will be able to do it.


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