Desire To Be Better Than Others

Discussion in 'Spiritual Forum' started by garry420, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. garry420

    garry420 Well-Known Member

    When we base our self-evaluation on thinking, which involves a comparison of ourselves with others we have develop a dire need to become in our own eyes better than other paople. How do we stack up with others? Are they better looking than us? Do they make more money than us? Are they getting the attention instead of us? Are they more popular than us? Are they smarter than us? Do I want to be a winner instead of a loser? Do I want to be first or last?

    We live in a culture built around the values of power (status) greed (accumulating material possessions) and fame (being outstanding). These values are by which we evaluate ourselves. Wanting to be a winner is not the same as wanting to perform well and competently. Doing so is a very good thing. Rather we want to do well so we will look good in our own eyes and in the eyes of others so in our own eyes we can be a winner. We desire strongly to be satisfied with ourselves by winning and that satisfaction depends on this. We WANT TO BECOME SOMETHING OUTSTANDING. In Vedanta this striving is called “becoming” which comes out of a deep feeling of self-dissatisfaction.

    The self-dissatisfaction of being in our own eyes of being a loser drives us to the only remedy which is being a winner. If we experience ourselves as a loser we develop a strong and compulsive desire to be a winner in our own eyes and in the eyes of others. We want to be better than others to relieve the burden of having a self-identity of a loser which is a profoundly painful self-dissatisfaction.

    The problem is that in this search for self-glory we will feel jealous and envious of others when we think they are doing better than others which will produce an emotional drive in us to attack them in various ways. We will want to beat them and come out on top because we are full of rivalry. We will also want to destroy them by malicious actions.

    Trying to be a “winner” may be one of the most happiness destroying activities we can engage in. Trying to be a winner might unknowingly make our lives into an emotional roller coaster.

    VIA:Bede Clifford

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