Swami Paramarthananda Ji - General Talk Transcript Series - "Guru - śiṣya relationship" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One of the unique faculties of human beings is the capacity to form relationship with other human beings and trying to have an enduring lasting relationship, which we do not find that developed in animals or plant kingdom. This is one of the unique features of the human life. We all know that any relationship requires 2 people. It is always between 2 human beings. This human relationship between 2 human beings can be categorized into 3 types. The first one is the ideal type of relationship which is a rare one, and it is the relationship between 2 wise people. Relationship between 2 wise people. A wise person is one who is happy with himself or herself and therefore, he never forms a relationship to gain happiness. At the same time, a wise person is one who enjoys relationship with everyone. Therefore, because of this reason, there is no strings attached in that relationship, is the relationship between 2 free people, 2 independent people, both of them do not expect anything from the other, both of them do not try to manipulate or influence the other, both of them do not try to change the other, and since the relationship is not for the sake of happiness, there is no anxiety to retain the relationship also. In fact, the relationship continues without a struggle, either to form it, or to retain it, this is the best relationship, the most ideal relationship and the most rare relationship also. This is one extreme. Second type of relationship is between two ignorant people, two otherwise people. Who is an ignorant person ? A self ignorant person is one who is not happy with himself and therefore, he wants to strike a relationship to get or acquire happiness and unfortunately, the other end of relationship, the other person is also ignorant and therefore, he also wants happiness from the other person, both of them are beggars of happiness. Imagine, two beggars joining together, each one trying to get happiness from the other, you can imagine the problems that can come. It is like two beggars coming together with the intention of borrowing money from the other person. It is like, two unsteady people trying to hold on to each other and trying to become steady, it never works. A family Psychologist nicely says, "The biggest mistake that people commit with regard to family relationship is an arithmetic mistake, he says, the people think, especially the husband and wife they think that, husband is one half and wife is another half and they think that two halves put together will become one. Now, this kind of logic doesn't function, because, if husband if one half means, one is incomplete, wife is another half means, the other one is also incomplete, and incomplete two or incomplete three or are number of in-completes can never become complete. The biggest arithmetic mistake committed by the people while entering into family life because of which arithmetic mistake lot of family problems come. " That Psychologist say, instead of half + half, what happens is, when the two halves comes together, the result that we get is, half * half, and therefore, before the relationship, each one was half, but after the relationship, they have become more incomplete, it has become one fourth, once the child is born it becomes one eighth, and the multiplication create more problems than lesser problem. Therefore, when two dependent people, ignorant people, incomplete people come together, that relationship is called samsāram. The problem is, because each one has got lot of expectation from the other, because the relationship itself is struck to gain happiness not to give something and no human being can fulfil the expectations of the other human being, it is impractical and it is impracticable. You can imagine, what happens if this relationship continues for a length of time. The expectations keep on mounting, and the most of the expectation are not fulfilled by the other, therefore, the fulfilled expectations are lesser and lesser and the unfulfilled expectations are more and more and therefore, that relationship is no more viable, profitable, working, in fact, there are lot of complaints, rather than joy. If such relationship continues, a relationship between two dependent people, ignorant people, incomplete people, it is only a question of, somehow managing rather than an enjoyable relationship, it is something like our UF alliance, the struggle is to keep the parties together, no party has the time to think of the progress of the nation. So there is no question of working for progress or improvement because the very relationship is a struggle and that is why many people say when asked, "How is life ? ", chalta hai. It is just pulling on. So, this is the relationship between 2 ignorant people, this is called samsāram. There is a third relationship which is not ideal but which is beautiful, it is between the wise and the ignorant. The wise and the ignorant, gyāni and the agyāni. It is not the ideal one, but the 3rd one is beautiful because it can lead to the ideal one. In the first type of relationship, there is no goal at all, it is an end in itself, the 2nd type of relationship is neither an end nor it is means to anything, it is the perpetuation of the samsāram, whereas, the 3rd one between the wise and the ignorant, between the gyāni and the agyāni, it is not an end, it is not a samsāra also, but it is the means which can lead to the ideal relationship. So, therefore, it is very interesting to study the relationship between the agyāni and the gyāni, the dependent and the independent, the free and the bound. When an agyāni, a samsāri, an ignorant person who is tired of all other relationships, because it is full of manipulation, struggle etc, when that person meets a gyāni for the 1st time, without knowing that he is a gyāni, the first thing that strikes is the independence of a gyāni. And that independence, freedom from all expectations, when I meet such a gyāni, one great relief is, he does not expect anything from me, that itself is a great relief because, I need not perform, I need not struggle to do anything and secondly, he does not want me to change at all, he does not force me to change at all, but if I want to change, he is ready to assist me or help me; provided I want to change, but he doesn't have any complaints about me, that itself gives me a great relief and relaxation and since he doesn't expect anything from me, since he doesn't expect me to change from what I'm, I'm not even worried about losing the relationship because that person accepts me in spite of what I'm. Therefore, I'm not worried about losing the relationship, or putting up a front in front of him to retain the relationship, so I can be natural in front of that person. Because, in the society I have to always put some kind of front to get acceptance in that group, acceptance in that institution, I have to put a physical front, a status I have to maintain, and I find I can be natural and the very opportunity to be natural in front of that person makes me at home. It is like a person who has to go for a business meeting in the summer month, and If I have be accepted in that group, I require a dress code, I have to wear coat and suit, all those things I have to do and present myself to be accepted in that, even though it is very uncomfortable. When he reaches home, he throws away the dress and he wears dhoti and he feels comfortable, he is himself without presenting a front. (To be contd..)
In society, I have to put a lot of veshams from dress code onwards and I have to keep false smile all the time, so many things I have to do to have acceptance. But, I find, in front of the gyāni, the wise man, I'm at home. I can do whatever I like, my words I need not bother, I can smile, I can cry, I can discuss any topic, that very freedom makes him at home with himself, it is like removing coat and tie and all of them. Therefore, he doesn't know the details. Something tells him, I'm at home, I'm comfortable in the presence of the gyāni. All the relationships are straining, but there is one relationship, it is not only not straining, but it is very relaxing. Most of the people, just like to only enjoy that relationship and they become devotees, and they make use of the gyāni only as a resort, they just use the gyāni as a temporary resort to be myself, to relax myself and to come back and face other terrible relationships. This is called devotee relationship of an agyāni and a gyāni. But, there are some perceptive agyānis, they don't want to just come and have a temporary relationship, they begin to study the nature of that gyāni, they are impressed by the personality of that gyāni, they first think what impresses them is that independence and freedom, I'm happy to have a relationship with a gyāni and in-fact I'm anxious to maintain that relationship, because I'm dependent on that relationship, on the other hand, gyāni enjoys that relationship, but he is not anxious to maintain the relationship. The cult head always want to keep the devotees in their group only, that shows, the insecurity of the head of that group, but gyāni is not like a head of a cult, like the head of an institution, or like fanatic religions or group, he says, if you are finding some other place more comfortable, fine, you come to me fine, continue fine, this independence begins to impress and therefore, he wonders, "Can I ever become independent and be free like that person", which means, I should enjoy the relationship, but I should never form a relationship for happiness. That is called samsāra. Once that desire comes, he is no more interested in temporary comfort as a devotee, but he wants to become as independent and as free as the gyāni, such a devotee has now become a mokshārthi. Till that time, he/she was a suhārthi, suhārthi agyāni will gradually get converted into into mokshārthi agyāni. Then, the teacher says, "If I'm independent, this independence is purely because of the self knowledge that I enjoy, it is because of the discovery of the self independence that is my nature." Once a person becomes a mokshārthi, the gyāni converts him to a vidyārthi. Once a person becomes a mokshārthi, the gyāni converts him to a vidyārthi and the student has to study the scriptures and therefore, the gyāni puts such a vidyārthi to the study of scriptures. Here also, there are lot of problems to convince that student to study the scriptures, because the first thing that comes to the mind is, "I want to know the self, why should I study the scriptures ? After all, scriptures are anātma, what I want to know is ātma, what is the use of the study of scriptures ? ", each stage there is lot of resistance. Some people say, scriptural study is an intellectual gymnastics, which will take you nowhere. Some other people will say, scriptural study will lead to arrogance, irukara bakthiyum poidum, adhanaala padikaadhey (you will lose the prevailing bakthi also, so don't study scriptures). Another person says, "The scriptural study is turning towards anātma, you are becoming more and more extrovert, what you require is turning introvert, ātma yengu iruku nnu ulla thedi poganum, scripture aa paathundu ni veliye poindu irukiye.. (You have to search for ātma inside yourself, but you are searching outside by studying the scriptures..) Then, the gyāni has to convince, "Remember, turning towards scriptures is not turning towards anātma, an external thing.", because the scriptures are like the mirror. When you are looking at the mirror, are you looking outside or inside. From the distance when you see, "When I'm looking at the mirror, I'm an extrovert, because I'm turning outwards, but really speaking, the mirror is putting the direction of the eyes towards the face itself, and therefore, the eyes are not seeing the mirror, but through the mirror, the eyes are seeing themselves. " Therefore, looking at the mirror is not extrovertedness, similarly, the study of scriptures should never be thought as an extroverted pursuit, it is looking at my own independence self. Then the teacher says, "The mirror also, you should know, how to properly use, also if there are dust on the surface of the mirror, that dust has to be cleaned and when you use the mirror properly and clean the mirror properly, all that effort goes to what ? for clearer and clearer perception of your own face." Similarly, while we study the scriptures, there are also many impurities possible and those impurities are incomplete understanding and wrong understanding. Incomplete understanding and wrong understanding are like the dust because of which I can never look myself clearly and therefore, you require systematic and consistent vichārahā or enquiry is required. Enquiry is like rubbing the mirror. Every reasoning, every analysis, ever word that I enquire into is the removal of the impurity and it is not an intellectual gymnastics, it is not an extroverted pursuit, it is making the mirror finer and finer and the more I understand every word, the more I understand that I'm free, I don't require anything to be happy. This śiṣya and guru sambandā, until then it was only devotee gyāni sambandā, when the śiṣya guru sambandā continues for a length of time, the śiṣya knows how to use the mirror properly and when he looks at himself, he discovers the free, independent self and he understands even I don't require even the teacher to be full and complete and happy. So, he gets freedom from the guru also. He gets freedom from the dependence on the teacher also. Because, the teacher has given him the mirror, the relationship has become the ideal relationship between guru gyāni and the śiṣya gyāni. Both are free, both are independent, both enjoy being together; at the same time, both are not anxious to be together also The conversion of agyāni dependent śiṣya to the gyāni independent śiṣya is the benefit of 3rd relationship, and that is guru śiṣya sambhandaha. After discovering this freedom, the śiṣya whenever he looks back to guru śiṣya sambhanda, that is, his sambhandha with his teacher, he enjoys. This is one relationship you will enjoy all the time, even when if it is present or even when if it is ended. That's why, in the olden days, after the teaching is over, that guru gives sanyāsa to the disciple, and at the time of sanyāsa, what he does is, he himself shaves the head, as a brahmmachāri he had the tuft and guru becomes the barber there, he becomes the barber and cut the tuft, the tuft indicates 3 types of relationship. Ishwara-Sambhanda, Sāstra-Sambhanda, Guru-Sambhanda. These 3 beautiful relationship are indicated, it was a relationship to get out of bondage. Now, the guru says, "Hey śiṣya, you don't require me, you don't require even sāstram, because you have become independent", to symbolize that, he cuts. Therefore, every sanyāsi wants to remember his relationship with the teacher and how he became free because of the relationship with the teacher. He remembers all the time, he is grateful to the guru for that. But, he wants one day just to remember and enjoy that. That day is called Guru Purnima day, generally celebrated by the sanyāsis. Because, the sanyāsis remember the time of sanyāsa, because sanyāsa symbolizes freedom from all relationship including guru- śiṣya sambhanda. "na sasta na sastram na sisyo na śikṣā na ca tvam na caham na cayam prapancah svarupavabodho vikalpasahisnus tadeko vasistah sivah kevalo ham." But even though, he doesn't require the relationship, but he wants to remember the relationship with gratitude. Because, the gratitude makes a human being a human being, we should always worship 3 things, vedāntaha, guruhu, ishwarahā. The lord, the teacher and the scriptures. Initially they are worshipped for gaining gnāna, after gaining gnāna, they are worshipped for gratitude. Therefore, on the guru purnima day every sanyāsi or every śiṣya, he remembers the teacher and says, "You are wonderful." and guru says, "Don't tell me I'm wonderful, I have not done anything, I have shown you the mirror, even the mirror I have not produced, this mirror is the sāstra tradition, the vedic tradition which has been coming, I do not have any credit at all." śiṣya says, "At least you cleansed the mirror, by teaching how to look at the mirror, at-least you cleansed." Then the guru does not want to take the credit for that also because, even how to teach is not my own method, there is a proper method of communication. It has been given to me by my guru. Sāstram is mirror, sampradāya is how to study the scriptures without incomplete understanding and wrong understanding. Then if the śiṣya says, "I want to do namaskaram to your parama-guru" and the parama-guru says, "Don't do namaskaram to me" and it goes, his guru, his guru. So thus, instead of worshipping one guru, we worship the whole guru parampara. " nārāyaṇam padmabhavam Vasishtam, śaktim, cha thath puthra asmad guru", or " Sādāśiva samārambham". If you are a nāmam, you can say "nārāyaṇa", if you are a vibhōdhi you can say "sādāśiva". Even though, the entire guru-paramparā is worshipped, in this guru-paramparā Vyāsachārya is given importance, because he codified the tradition of teaching and presented in a comprehensive form for the first time. It was more an oral tradition and unwritten tradition, Vyāsachārya is the first person who codified the method and presented the method of teaching through his brāhmmasutrā work.
Therefore, for all practical purposes, brāhmmasutrā is taken as the standard key to open the Upaniṣadic book and get the wisdom. Therefore, all the gurus are worshipped but Vyāsachārya is given an extra position, today is also called Vyāsa pūrṇimā, Guru pūrṇimā and this day we have this tradition of worship, the sanyāsis start the chāturmaysa vratā also, because generally the sanyāsis are supposed to move about without staying in one place and during this time, because of rainy season, except in Madras in other places being rainy season, they don't move about because it is inconvenient, therefore, stay in one place, start the pujā, thereafter, during the 4 months, they just share the wisdom with the people around. Therefore, the sanyāsis start the chāturmaysa, the other people takes the opportunity to thank the teacher. So therefore, this is thanks giving day to the teacher.
