I awaken from my sleep with a gasp, and am relieved to see the light of the stars and the moon shining into the temple .Lately I don’t like sleeping as my dreams are bringing very disturbing images. My anxiety is momentarily replaced with pleasure as I feel the luscious warmth and wetness between my legs that reminds me of the lovemaking that took place just hours ago. My beloved lies next to me, and I turn to watch the rise and fall of his chest for just a few moments. The way that the moonlight hits his face brings tears to my eyes .He is a sight to behold, with a generous heart to match. My hand wanders down to the swell of my stomach where my unborn child is growing. I have longed for this child for many moons, and now she has come to me-a gift from goddess-to be born into the temple and our way of life. I am so full of gratitude for everything that has come to pass, but can’t help feeling an apprehension of what is to come. You see, I am the seer of the temple-the one who delivers messages to the others. It is a gift bestowed to me from goddess yet one I have come to feel torn about. The great mother has blessed me with prophetic vision and even though I am grateful to have this gift, I am disturbed by what I see at times. I communicate with the stars, the moon, and the planets as well as goddess, and I find that her messages are loudest in the quite, stillness of the night. She wakes me from my sleep to tell of things that are yet to pass. What she has to tell me on this night brings great fear into my heart, because it seems that life as we know it is about to change. It seems that the days of ritual, worship, and community are coming to an end. There is a new wave of teachings that will take over, and our ways will not be accepted. I plant a kiss on my lover’s lips and rise to put in my robe. I tiptoe out to the garden, careful not to wake anyone else in the temple. It is cold out there, but I feel refreshed by the cool night air. I find my favourite spot, take a deep breath, and begin my communication with the mother. She speaks to me telepathically, and on this night, shows herself as the crone. She tells me that our days are numbered and that we need to enjoy the time that we have left together. There will be no escape from the atrocities that are about to occur. The new religion that is sweeping the land has produced vengeful and brutish behaviour, and its followers seem to want to wreak havoc on all who do not believe in their god. I am taken aback by this news, I have felt change coming on the wind for quite some time now but had no idea that it would be of this nature. The Great Mother tells me that soon she will be heading into the underworld, and all that she represents will be but a distant memory-as if in a dream. She will hibernate just as the serpents do, but for much longer. The time of darkness that is coming is her Winter. All of her teachings and worshippers will soon be hidden, and it will come to pass that goddess worship will be seen as a crime punishable by death. . I am absolutely mortified by the information that has come to me. The Mother assures me that she will guide us to the best possible outcome, and to have faith that she will rise again. She tells me that this is all happening for a reason and that there will be a time many years from now when we will be able to worship her and live the way we have always lived without persecution or judgement. I know what this means, and even though I love my earthly existence, I know that it is soon time to leave. I run my hands over my face and through my hair, down my breasts and over my pregnant belly. I touch my yoni and think of all the pleasure that it has bought me. I caress my legs and my feet and then I touch the earth. I think of what a wonder my life has been and all of the incredible women that I have met. I think of my beloved and the life that is growing inside of me. I start to cry because I feel such a grief that my baby will not be born in this lifetime. I cry for my sisters, the children, the men and the elderly, and for the repression of women that is to come. I also cry for my lover because I cannot bear to be separated from him. My tears flow as if they were a river and after what seems like an eternity, I fall asleep. I am awakened by one of the children-my niece. She is so beautiful and looks just like me as a child. I scoop her into my arms and take her into the temple, knowing the task ahead of me. I call the sisters into a circle and tell them of my visions. A sadness washes over each and every one of us but we know that what we are about to do is right. The men and the elderly are also informed, and we tell the children that we are going on an adventure. We will leave the temple at dawn the next day-as it is a three day walk to the ocean and we don’t have much time. It is decided that we will have one last celebration in the temple to honour goddess, each other, and our earthly lives. It is a time of mixed emotions and yet we still manage to enjoy ourselves. The night passes quickly as we eat, laugh, cry, sing, dance, and sit in front of the main altar one last time. As we prepare to leave, I look around and am filled with such gratitude for my time spent living in the temple. The walk is long and difficult in parts, and a heavy sense of grief hangs in the air. And even though the thought of being separated from one another fills us with sadness, we know that what we are about to do is a better alternative than living with someone else’s god in our hearts On the eve of the third day the shoreline is visible, in only a few more miles and we will be there. We are all weary, but a sense of urgency pushes us on. We set up camp on the beach and create a fire to keep us warm. Everybody takes turns at recounting their life and saying what they need to say to feel complete. Every single person in the circle is embraced and we start to chant the names of goddess as the first rays of sunlight begin to break through the clouds. I have chosen to go first with my beloved. I walk to the sea holding his hand and turn to farewell my sisters and the rest of the community one more time. My heart is pounding heavily in my chest as I walk into the water. When the water is at the top of my thighs I turn to embrace my lover. I hold his face in my hands and tell him that we will be together again .He places his hand on my heart and kisses me on the lips. He tells me that he loves me and we both put our hands on my belly and say goodbye to our daughter. We rejoin hands and keep walking until we are pulled apart by the current. By now my whole body and head are fully immersed in the sea. I feel light headed and know that my time will soon be over. I take one last look at my beloved and the watery abyss that surrounds us, and as I take my last breath I feel euphoric as I am welcomed back into the arms of the Great Mother. Source :I/N
